Njengendoda eyiGay, ndiye ndaneentloni ngokungenazintloni kwiDating Apps. Ndijike, Andindedwa

Eli bali liyinxalenye yoluhlu olubanzi lokuhlela. Ukuphuma kunye nokuwa eluthandweni malunga nokuma kolwalamano lwethu nabanye, kunye neziqu zethu. Kule nyanga, sijonga izimo zengqondo zaseAsia ngesondo kunye ne-porn, ukuthandana kwixesha ledijithali, amava oluntu lwe-LGBTQ, ubudlelwane obungahambelaniyo kwaye okona kubaluleke kakhulu, kukuzithanda. Funda amabali afanayo apha.

Amadoda anengxaki kumaqonga okuthandana. Masingachithi xesha sixoxa ngaloo nto. Ewe, kukho amadoda ambalwa amangalisayo ahamba enye imayile kwaye musa ukutyhala nje imifanekiso ye-dick endaweni yezihlanganisi kwisivakalisi ngasinye, kodwa uninzi lwento oyifumanayo kumaqonga okuthandana zii-incels ezahlukeneyo zegadi. Ndingazi njani? Ewe, ndichithe kuphela ubomi bam bonke abadala ndikhankanyiwe kwii -apps zokuthandana. Kulungile, kunye nobuntwana bam bonke kwihlabathi lokwenyani.

Ubomi njengomntwana oqhekezayo abuzange bube yimvula kunye nelanga. Ngokuchasene noko, yimfazwe engapheliyo esiyilwa ngumxhuzulane kunye nemingxuma yokubila. Buza nawuphi na umntwana okufutshane nawe okhule etyebile (okanye isekhona). Indlela ebendihlala ndiyibona ngayo, umhlaba ubufuna abantu abancinci nabatyebileyo ukugcina ibhalansi yomzimba. Adnan Sami ukhululwe Phakamisa uKara De malunga nexesha elifanayo, kwaye abo bandixhaphazayo bafumana igama lesidlaliso elitsha, ngaphandle kwesiqhelo Intlanganiso (fatso), Bhains (inyathi), kunye Isini (umkhombe). Kodwa kwanele malunga nabantakwethu.

Isikolo samabanga aphakamileyo yayilixesha elothusayo kuba wonke umntu wakhawuleza wabanjwa kubrakethi esekwe kwinto yokuqala, ebonakalayo nengabalulekanga ngayo. Ubunzima bomzimba (obhityileyo okanye obutyebileyo) buye kudidi olunye, abo baneiglasi ezingqindilili bangena kolunye, abantu abanebala elimnyama kwenye, kwaye amantombazana aneziketi ezimfutshane kwenye ... ufumana i-drill. Kodwa nangoko, bendihlala ndinomkhonto njengesixhobo kwaye ndikwazile ukuba nam. Into endandingazange ndiyicinge nokucinga, nangona kunjalo, yayikukurhweba ngamxhaphazi esikolo samabanga aphakamileyo kumalungu endawo endandihlala kuyo.

Ukuhamba ngesitrato ecaleni kwendlela kuvule indlela yamagumbi okuxoxa kwi-Intanethi kwii-2000s zakuqala, kwaye ngo-2007, wonke umntu wayenefowuni enoluhlu lweapps anokukhetha kuzo. Xa ujonga phezulu Isitshisi kwi-PlayStore namhlanje, ufumana iqela leengcebiso ezinje Isikhafu , URomeo , Uluhlaza okwesibhakabhaka kwaye Iyavela , nganye inento yayo ekhethekileyo. Kodwa kuvela ukuba ubuntununtunu yeyona nto ibadibanisayo bonke.

Into embi iyenzeka kweziapps. Abantu bazisa inqanaba le-Twitter lobuncinci kumaqonga okuthandana. Ngokomndilili, ukufumana iiprofayili ezinje akuqhelekanga.

Ngumntu ohlala kunye nawe ongumfana onobuhlobo kunye ne-IQ yamandongomane. Ungalufumana olu hlobo lokutya ngokwesini. Omnye wabo wandibhalela umyalezo kutshanje xa bendiseDelhi, kwaye ke undithumelele ikhathalogu yamalungu akhe esini kwimiyalezo emihlanu yokuqala. Khange ndiyithande ncam le manoeuver ndaye ndaya ngqo wabhala: Andinamdla. Kodwa endaweni yokuhlehla njengomntu onesidima onokuyenza, waphulukana ne-shit yakhe wabhala, Hayi ke ngoku inkunkuma etyebileyo njengawe unesimo sengqondo. Ndikwenzela ubabalo ngokwabelana ngomfanekiso wesixhobo sam se-intshi esi-8 nawe. Ndothuswe kukuphazamiseka kwale ndoda kodwa ndinomdla wokuqonda ingqondo yayo. Ke ngokuqinisekileyo ndimqhubele phambili wade wavimba ne-esile lam elinamafutha. Into endiyifundileyo ekuziphatheni kwakhe kukuba yena ngokwakhe uhlazekile emzimbeni ngenxa yokungabi nasisihlunu ngokwaneleyo kwaye yindlela ohamba ngayo umjikelo.

Inqaku yile, kukho ukucaca okugqithisileyo kukaThixo wamaGrike phakathi kwamadoda athandana namanye amadoda, ubukhulu becala enkosi kwi-porn, kunye nemithombo yeendaba ethandwayo ebonisa amadoda angamakhosikazi athe phithi nguRyan Gosling okanye uHrithik Roshan. Ewe, lalikho ixesha xa ndandibalekela kuArnold Schwarzenegger, kodwa ukusukela ngoko bendiyeyona ndoda inguJohn Goodman. Le ndawo ngoku inyanzelise amadoda asempilweni, kwicala lokungcwaba ukuba enze amaqela amancinci afana neebhere, i-chubs, ii-otters njalo njalo, ngokwenza njalo kudala amancinci amancinci kwaye aqhubeke nokwenza umsantsa phakathi koluntu endihlala ndikholelwa ukuba lubandakanya wonke umntu. Ewe, kakhulu kule ngxelo.

Xa ndakhupha i-feeler kwi-Instagram ukuze ndithethe nabanye abantu abakhe badlula kule nto, iingcango zezikhukula zavuleka kwaye amadoda aliqela akrwada avulela kum malunga nemizabalazo yawo yokuhlazeka komzimba.

USenthil yenye yeetshomi zam ezindala, kwaye ngalo lonke ixesha ndidibana naye, ebengekho nto kodwa eshushu kwaye emnandi ukuthetha naye. Nangona kunjalo, intiyo ayifumanayo yokuba kwicala le-chubbier ayiqinisekanga kwaphela.

USenthil uthi, Ndiyazi ukuba ii & apos; m azihambelani nohlobo lwenkangeleko uninzi lwabantu oluya kufuna. Ngenxa yoku andifane ndisondele okanye ndithethe naye nabani na, kuba ndiyazi ukuba kuyathukwa okanye ukubizwa ngamagama alindileyo.

Kwimeko yakhe, abantu abamenzi nje ukuba azive kakubi ngokuba chubby. Nditsho nabafana abathanda iibhere bathethile izinto ezinje: Nina zizinwele kakhulu kum / aninaboya ngokwaneleyo / nina & apos; nityebile kakhulu / anizityebisi ngokwaneleyo / aninabuphezulu; aniphakamanga ngokwaneleyo / anizenzi ezantsi ngokwaneleyo. Ndifuna ukubakho njengomntu, ukuhlonitshwa nokuthandwa, hayi njengomntu okhulelweyo.

UDarshil, omnye umhlobo othandekayo ngoku nohlala kwaye esebenza ngokubuka iindwendwe eSydney, wayevakala malunga nenzondo ehleli nzulu yamadoda athandana namanye athandana nabantu abathandana nabathandana nabathandana nabathandana nabathandana nabathandana nabathandanayo. Uthi, Ezinye zezinto ezimbi abantu endibhalele zona kwi-Intanethi, 'Ndiyabulela uthixo ukuba awunguye umfazi, kuba umbi kwaye utyebile kangangokuba akukho mntu unokukugezela', 'Umama wakho bekufanele ukuba akubulele xa babebancinci ke ukuba uluntu lwama-gay luza kusinda ',' UDarshil ndiza kukuphambanisa kwaye sijole nawe kuphela ukuba ulahle onke la mafutha uwaphetheyo '. Eyokugqibela ndiyithumele kwi-Intanethi ukuba ifundwe ngumntu wonke. Utsho ukuba & apos zihlala zihleli kwingqondo yakhe kwaye zimenza angazithandabuzi nanamhla.

Into endothusayo kukuba intiyo iphezu kobukhulu bomzimba, kwaye ayigcinelwanga abafana abakhulu kuphela. Nzulu , umyili wefashoni kunye nomculi we-makeup omangalisayo undixelela, bendineentloni zomzimba ngokuba ndibhityile. Kwaye ndandingabahlobo abasenyongweni noMia, ke xa ndinxiba, ndiziva ndifuna ukunciphisa ubunzima bam, kwaye uGrindr khange ancede kuko konke oko.

Yintoni uMia? Ndibuza ngathi ndingu grandad.

Bulimia, Nzulu utsho. I-Tumblr yayivalile ukusetyenziswa kwamagama iBulimia kunye ne-Anorexia. Ke abantu baseTumblr beza no'Ana 'kunye' noMia '. Ngombulelo inzulu ifumene indlela yokujongana nehlazo lomzimba, kwaye ngelishwa kwiTumblr. Bendihlala ndibeka imifanekiso yomzimba wam kwiTumblr kwaye kungekudala, abantu baqala ukuyixabisa. Kwakufana nebhlog ukuzikhumbuza ukuba ukubhitya kulungile kwaye abantu abafana nam, baqala ukuyixabisa. Ekuqaleni konke kwakusabelana ngesondo kakhulu kwaye kwandigxeka nangakumbi de omnye umsebenzisi wandixelela ukuba ndikhumbule ukuba ndingubani kwaye ndinantoni na.

Ukujongela phantsi ngokungakhathali ngamanye amadoda athandana namanye amadoda kunokuba neziphumo ezibi kwimpilo yengqondo yomntu. Inzulu ithi, Yafika entlokweni yam. Bendingafuni ukuzibandakanya okanye ukuchitha ixesha nabahlobo bam, ukuya kwikholeji, okanye nokubonwa. Ndandifuna ukuphila, kodwa ndingabonakali.

USenthil wongeza, ndidlulile kuxinzelelo kwaye ngoku ndiphantsi kwamayeza e-Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD) kunye ne-hypochondria. Inxalenye elungileyo yemicimbi yam yokuzithemba yavela kukuhlazeka ngamanqatha.

Akukho sisombululo sibonakalayo ngokucacileyo. Abantu shit kwaye amadoda yeyona nto imbi kakhulu njengoko senditshilo ngaphambili. Banike umnxeba kunye neprofayili engenakubonwa ukuba bangangcungcuthekisi umntu kwaye baya kusebenza ngokumangalisayo. Andazi ukuba kutheni bengenahlombe ngokuhlala ixesha elide ebhedini ukuba banayo yonke le gusto. Uninzi lweeapps lusebenza ngokungathi bayakhathala ngentetho enentiyo kodwa izihluzo abanazo endaweni azonelanga ngokwaneleyo ukubhloka izidalwa ezinentiyo. Ke nina nonke phandle phaya nifunda le nto, ewe okanye ngokuthe tye, mandinixelele into ibenye: Loo mntu ugqibeleleyo ubuphuphile ngobomi bakho bonke akakho. Sonke kufuneka ngokudibeneyo sihlise imigangatho yethu.

Landela uNavin Noronha kwi I-Instagram .