Isikhokelo saBantu abaFanelekileyo sokujongana ubuso nobuso

Njengomfazi otyebileyo, ndinamava okuxhonywa emzimbeni wam ohamba ze kunye nesondo. Ndibuze ukuba ndingazama into efana nobuso. Xa ndiqala ukulala ngesondo, andizange ndivumele nabani na ukuba achukumise isisu sam-ke ingcinga yokugoqa amathanga am apha entlokweni yomntu kunye nokuhlala phantsi kubo kubonakala ngathi yinto yabanye abantu, hayi mna. Ukungaqiniseki kwam kubangelwa ngaphakathi. Ndiza kujonga umzimba wam ohamba ze esipilini kwaye ndizibuze: Ndityebe kakhulu ukuzama le nto yesondo? Ngaba ndiza kutyumza iqabane lam?

Ayindim ndedwa umfazi otyebileyo okhe weva olu loyiko. Bendihlala ndisoyika ukuba ndiza kubulala umntu, oneminyaka eyi-28, umhlali waseToronto URachel Matheson uyandixelela. Emva koko ndiye ndaqonda ukuba umntu xa eswelekile ehleli ebusweni, usweleke esenza ukuthanda kwakhe.

Kwandithatha ixesha elide ukuya kwindawo apho ndaqonda khona ukuba ukungazithembi kwam kusentloko yam. Ndifunde ukuba abantu bobukhulu bonke banokonwabela zonke iintlobo zesini ukuba usondela kuzo ngokuchanekileyo. Kodwa uphuma njani entlokweni yakho, kwaye wonwabele ukubonwa ngobuso okokuqala?

Kuya kufuneka uzithembe ukuzama ubuso, kodwa ukuzithemba kungaza nokuzilolonga. Ngethuba lokuqala uMatheson wayizama, wayekhathazeke kakhulu malunga nendlela awayekhangeleka ngayo kwaye enuka kakubi kangangokuba waphulukana nokubona okwenzekayo. Kodwa ngoku yena uguqukile.

Ixhala malunga nokuba amalungu akho obuni anuka njani kwaye ajongeka njani ichaphazela abasetyhini bobukhulu bonke kunye nobudala . Kodwa sukuvumela olo loyiko lususe kwiimfuno zakho, iimfuno, kunye neminqweno. Qala ujonge umzimba wakho ohamba ze kwisipili kwaye uyixabise, hayi kuphela xa usabelana ngesondo kodwa suku ngalunye.

Bukela: Ufumana njani i-Ex yakho

Ingcali yezesondo USonalee Rashatwar , osebenzisa bona / bona izimelabizo, undixelela ukuba izibini kufuneka zenze iincoko ezicacileyo malunga nokuba zeziphi izichazi zomlomo kunye nezingezizo zomlomo ezibonisa ukuba amava ayathandeka kumntu ongezantsi. Ukuba umntu ongaphezulu uxakeke kakhulu ngumthetho, banokuthintela ukubonelelwa komoya kweqabane elingaphantsi. URashatwar ucebisa ukuba iqabane lisezantsi licofe iqabane kunye ne-apos; amathanga okanye iingalo, ukwazisa umntu ongaphezulu ukuba ufuna umoya omninzi.

Kufanele ukuba kubekho unxibelelwano oluqhubekayo, 'ucacisa uRashatwar. 'Hayi ngohlobo lwe & apos, ngaba uyakwazi ukuphefumla? kodwa, & apos; uyayonwabela le nto? Ngaba oku kukususa? Ndiyakuvusa? Ndingenza ntoni ukuze lento izive ngcono? Ngaba zikho izinto zokudlala esinokuzisebenzisa? Ndingayenza njani le nto ukuba iyolise ngakumbi kuwe? & Apos;

Abantu abatshatileyo kufuneka baxoxe malunga nokonwaba kwabo kwangaphambili. Asingabo bonke abantu abonwabela ukonwatyiswa ngomlomo njengokukhuthaza okwenyani kwaye ayingabo bonke abantu abonwabela ubumnandi obufana nokubhitya, utshilo uRashatwar. Yiveze iminqweno yakho phambi kokuba unyukele phezulu, ukuqinisekisa ukuba amava ayathandeka kumntu wonke.

Ukujongana nako kunokuba ngumceli mngeni kwabanye abantu abatyebileyo, kodwa uRashatwar uneengcebiso zokwenza izinto lula. Bacebisa ukuba iqabane elisezantsi lisebenzise umqamelo ukuxhasa intamo yabo, ke banendawo eyoneleyo yokuphefumla kwaye bahambisa intamo neengalo zabo kuso sonke isenzo. Ukuba unememori yegumbi lokulala ekhaya, uRashatwar ucebisa ngokufudukela kwi-ottoman eqinileyo, okanye emgangathweni, njengoko amagwebu enkumbulo enokubangela ukuba la maqela mabini azike ebhedini kwaye azive engaqinisekanga.

Umqamelo phantsi kweqabane lentamo kunye ne-apos; yenza ukuba umntu ongaphezulu, owenza ubuso, abe nenkxaso phantsi kwemilenze yakhe. Oku kuhle ukuba baneengxaki zamadolo. Ekugqibeleni, nangona kunjalo, omabini la maqela kufuneka alinge ade afumane indawo yokujongana ubuso nobuso ebasebenzelayo.

Ukuba yintombazana etyebileyo ngaphezulu kunokuba kukudinwa ngokwasemzimbeni. Mamela umzimba wakho. Ukuba ii-quads zakho ziqala ukwenzakalisa, okanye ayiziva ikhululekile, thatha ikhefu kwaye ungene ngokwakho. Ndiyathanda ukuthatha iglasi yamanzi, okanye uye kwigumbi lokuhlambela ixesha elithile.

Nokuba ungakanani na okanye ubunzima bakho, ukujongana ubuso nobuso sisenzo sesondo apho kugxilwe kuwe kuphela: uya kuba ngulawulo lweemvakalelo zakho. Ukujongana nayo yonke into kungokundibeka kulawulo lokonwaba kwam ngokwesondo kunye nokusebenzisa umzimba womnye umntu ukufumana, uyachaza oneminyaka eyi-27 IMinerva Seal , umbhali okhubazekileyo kunye nemodeli evela eMilwaukee. USiegel akajonganga ngalo lonke ixesha; yinto ekufuneka ebekwimo yeemvakalelo ngayo. USiegel uyayithanda loo nto xa eyenza, uya kulawula. Ndingazilawula iindlela umzimba wam ovuseleleke ngazo, ngamanye amaxesha ezinokukhokelela kumava angcono ezesondo.

Njengomntu otyebileyo, unokuziva ukhutshelwe ngaphandle kukonwaba ngokwesondo. Izifundo zibonisa ukuba abantu abatyebileyo ngamanye amaxesha bacingelwa ukuba bayonqena, abakwazi ukusebenza, kwaye abathandeki . Izimo zengqondo ezenza iintloni zinokuba nefuthe elibi kumandla omntu kunye ne-apos;

Ndithetha ngamava: kuxa ndaye ndafumanisa ukunyuswa kwamanqatha, ngeTumblr kunye nemisebenzi yeababhali abanjengoVirgie Tovar, kunokuba ndiqondile ukuba abantu abatyebileyo njengam bangabanqwenelwa ngokwesini ngokwethu. Abantu abatyebileyo bafanelwe lulo lonke uyolo emhlabeni. Kodwa amaxesha amaninzi, siyakhulelwa, senziwe iintloni ngemizimba yethu, okanye abantu bacinge ukuba asizibandakanyi. Oku akunakuba kude nenyaniso.

'Umzimba wam uluhlaza, upholile, uyaphola, kwaye ucocekile, utshilo uSiegel. 'Ndifanelwe ziingqondo ezibetha ingqondo njengaye nabani na kwaye-ndiqinisekile ukuba ndiyazifumana.