Ndema emadodeni abandithumelela iifoto zabo ezingafunekiyo zepenisi yabo

Phantse yonke imihla, ndifumana ukuya kwi-100 yemiyalezo kwiibhokisi zam ze-Instagram, i-Facebook, kunye ne-Twitter, zihlala zivela kumadoda afuna ukundixelela into ngendlela endijongeka ngayo, indlela ejongeka ngayo, okanye ukundibuza imibuzo enje, 'Ngaba kukhuselekile? ukulala nomntu wasetyhini ngexesha lakhe? ' 'Ungumhenyukazi?' 'Uza nini eMilwaukee?' Iifoto ezingacelwanga kunye nezimvo zamadoda angaziwayo ziyinxalenye yesiqhelo kunye neyona nto ibalulekileyo ebomini bam njengomlobi wekholamu kunye nowasetyhini kwi-intanethi, kangangokuba andiyiboni xa ndisenza umsebenzi wam: ukusebenza ngokusisigxina, ukuthumela imiyalezo kubahlobo bam, kunye nokutya i-Cheez-Its naphi na apho ubafumana khona. Nangona kunjalo, bendisoloko ndinomdla okhohlakeleyo ngala madoda, ngakumbi abo banxibelelana nam besuka kude besithi, 'Ngaba singanikana ngeefoto?' Ngamanye amaxesha bathumela iifoto zamalungu abo, kwaye ngendlela, xa besenza njalo abazi zii-angles zabo ezilungileyo. Ibhokisi yam yemiyalezo ethe ngqo ifumana ubuncinci iifoto zepenisi ezivela kumadoda endingazange ndadibana nawo, kwaye ngekhe ndidibane, ngeveki.

Ndiyazibuza: Yeyiphi imeko ebalaseleyo engqondweni yakho? Bathumele umfanekiso wam ndihamba ze kunye nedilesi yasekhaya, apho ndiza kubalinda ebhafini, kunye noLil Wayne 'Wokuthanda' edlala ngasemva? Bayaphambana? Ndiloluhlobo lomfazi oziva ekhululekile ukuthandana ngakwizikwere zeWawa Sandwiches ebuza ukuba ndifuna inyama engaphezulu na, kodwa ayisiyonto ndiyothusayo yile foto yepenisi engacelwanga. Okokuqala, ukuthumela iifoto zelungu lakho langasese kubafazi abangaziwayo akubalwa phantsi kwazo naziphi na iimeko 'njengokudlala ngothando'. Kwakhona, ndiyazibuza ukuba la madoda awabona njani amanyathelo abo agqithisileyo. Ngaba ucinga ukuba yinto enesibindi kodwa enokwenzeka ukuba ayikubizi mali kwaye isavuyisa, nokuba ndiyaphendula okanye hayi? Ujika ewe.

Idibeneyo: Ndifunde njani ukonwabela isondo kwakhona emva kokudlwengulwa

Xa ndifumana ifoto ngomyalezo othe ngqo kuTwitter okanye kwi-Instagram kumntu endingamthobeliyo, ndinokukhetha ukucofa ibhokisi edibeneyo ukujonga ifoto okanye ukwala umyalezo ngokupheleleyo. Njengososayensi wezesondo kunye nomntu ozenzekelayo, ndihlala ndicofa kuyo. Xa kuyidick, ndiyicima kwangoko, phantse ngethuku, ndize ndichithe iintsuku ndicinga ngendoda enamathele kwilungu. Yintoni eyenze ukuba ibe njalo? Yintoni obufuna ukuyiphumeza, kwaye ukhe wayifeza? Kwaye kutheni ungayisusanga ihempe emdaka kwindawo leyo ngaphambi kokuthatha ifoto? (Isikhokelo esincinci sobugcisa sihamba indlela ende.) Kule veki, ndifumene ifoto engacacanga yendoda, kunye nesindululo esithi 'Ngaba singathengisa ngabanquli?' Ndicofe ifoto ukuyibona, nangona bekucaca ukuba izakuba lilungu lakhe langasese. Kwaye, njengoko yayinjalo, amalungu akhe obuni.

Ndifuna iimpendulo.

(Ngendlela, ngaphambi kokuya phambili, njengoko ndiyazi ukuba abantu abadli ngokufikelela esiphelweni samanqaku: umthetho olungileyo wesithupha kubafana abandifundayo: Akukho mntu wakhe wafuna ukubona ipenisi abangayibuzi ukubona okanye ngenxa yalowo ungakhange abonakalise mdla njengenxalenye yomdlalo wesondo ovumelekileyo osele uhleli).

Kuqala bendifuna ukwazi: ngaba le ndoda yakha yathumela incanca yayo emfazini, kwaye ukuba kunjalo, ingaba ikhe yamsebenzela? Impendulo yakhe yandothusa kakhulu.

Eli li-2/5 lempumelelo. Amashumi amane eepesenti. INTONI? Ke indlela oziphethe ngayo sele iqinisekisiwe? Andizange ndixelele ukuba wayezama nje ukugcina ukubonakala kunye / okanye ukundichukumisa ngamandla okholisayo wepenisi yakhe. Kodwa ngoku kwafuneka afumanise ukuba igama elithi 'impumelelo' lithetha ntoni kule meko.

Unyanisile malunga nento enye: ukuthumela ipenisi kumisa kumdaka. Mna ngokwenene Ndifumana imiyalezo emininzi, kwaye andiphenduli kuninzi lwayo, nangona ndizama ukufunda uninzi kangangoko ukuze ndikwazi ukuziva kakuhle ngenkcubeko. Kodwa eyona nto indibetheleyo apha kukuba wayecinga ukuba le yeyona angle ingcono yonyawo lwakhe-ipenisi yinyani ye-groin, iFlorida ye-pelvis-ukwenza umbono olungileyo nokwakha isiseko sobudlelwane ngokwesondo.

Uthe esi ayisosicwangciso kuye, kwaye khange andithathe 'njengowasetyhini ongahleliyo' nokuba kungenxa yekholamu yam yesini. (Uthi abanye 'abane' babafazi bebekhona cam amantombazana okanye abathengisi ngemizimba). Oku kwandibeka ngaphandle-sisikhumbuzo sombono oxhaphakileyo wokuba abantu abasebenza ngesondo ngendlela efanelekileyo abafanelwe sisidima esisisiseko kwaye bacelwe kwenye imeko. Amadoda akwi-intanethi anokuzonwabisa okwahlukileyo kokungandiboni njengomntu wokwenyani, kodwa njengebhodi enesandi sokudlala ngothando lwabo kunye nezinto ezintsha kubugcisa bokuphulula amalungu esini. (Amadoda ahlala ezama ukwenza indawo yokuphulula amalungu esini.) Ukuba iminyaka emihlanu ebendiyibhala malunga nokwabelana ngesondo indifundise nantoni na, kungenxa yokuba uninzi lwamadoda lujikwa nje intetho ukuba neentlobano zesini ngumfazi, singasathethi ke ngeekholamu ezichazayo apho, rhoqo, ebeka khona izinto zobugcisa ngaphakathi kuye. Ke ugqiba kwelokuba ukubanakho ukuba ndivulwe yifoto yakhe engacelwanga iphezulu kunokuba kunokwenzeka ukuba ndizive ndicaphukile okanye ndihlaselwe. Okanye, nokuba ebesazi ukuba iingxaki zichasene naye, akazange azikhathaze ngokundikhathaza.

Ndamxelela ukuba ukufumana ifoto yepenisi enjalo ngaphandle kwam, kum, yayihlazisa isidima. Wacela uxolo. Sasinokutshintshiselana ngezimvo, kwaye wayenyanisekile kum malunga nokuba kutheni eyenzile: Wayefuna ngokwenene ukuseka ubudlelwane bezesondo rhoqo nam. Ekhuthazwe yingxoxo yethu yeyure, wabuza ukuba kunokwenzeka na ukusindisa nantoni na. Ndathi hayi, bendikrunekile, kodwa ndambulela ngokuthatha ixesha lokuchaza isayikholoji ebisisiqhinga sakhe kum.

Kufanelekile ukuba ukhankanye ukuba abantu ongabaziyo abanakho ukuba bodwa kwiifoto zepenisi ezingacelwanga. Amadoda owaziyo athumela ezo ntlobo zeefoto. Kwasekuqaleni kuka-2013, emva kweveki yokudlala ngothando, ndenza indoda umdlalo KwiTinder wandithumela imifanekiso yepenisi yakhe, ngokukhawuleza. Kwaye ividiyo! Asizange sidibane buqu, kwaye asizukuze, de kube ngunyaka ophelileyo, xa ndamcela ukuba ndidibane kwipaki yezinja eBrooklyn, apho wayeza kubuza athi, 'Kutheni?'

'Into malunga nawe ivele yandiguqula kwaye ndaziva ndikhululekile xa ndikunye nawe,' utshilo. Ndimbuzile ukuba ukubhala kwam ngesondo kubonakala ngathi luhlobo oluthile lwesimemo. 'Inxalenye,' utshilo. Kodwa ndicinga ukuba sinokuninzi okufanayo. Ngokwentuthuzelo yayiyinto engaphaya kwesondo. Ndivakalelwa kukuba awungomntu ugxekayo kwaye uvulekile. '

Ngokuphindaphindiweyo, amadoda endijongene nawo ngokundithumelela iifoto ezingafunekiyo zeepenise zabo bayala ukujonga isenzo njengokuhlukumeza; Banyanzelisa ukuba yindlela yokuthandana engaqhelekanga, ubuncinci de ndithathe umzuzwana ukubaxelela, 'Le intle.' Kwaye emva koko ndiziva ndisiba mandundu ngokuchitha imizuzu emibini ngendichithe ukubala iifolokhwe ebusweni bepug yam.

Uninzi lwabafazi endikhe ndathetha nalo kweli nqaku abathi bafumene iifoto zepenisi ezingacelwanga bandixelele ukuba bayifumana yoyikeka kwaye isaphula umthetho, kwaye ndiyakwazi ukungqina ukuba kuyinyani. Omnye umfazi wandixelela nge-Twitter ukuba indoda ayaziyo ngokungacacanga kwisikolo samabanga aphakamileyo yaphinda yavela kwiminyaka embalwa kamva, ngefoto yelungu layo. 'Ndingena emva kosuku oluhle emsebenzini,' utshilo. Ndenza i-tacos ezithile. Ndijonge phantsi ndabona ukuba kwifowuni yam ndinomyalezo othe ngqo kwi-Instagram, kwaye ibikhona. Ndimbuzile ukuba kukho impazamo na, ndinethemba lokuba uza kuthi: & amp; Thixo wam, bendiphosakele umntu okanye into & apos;. Kodwa wathi hayi. Ke ndithe: & apos; Ke ndingathanda ukuba undichazele indlela oziphethe ngayo & apos;. Kwaye waphendula wathi: & apos; Yiza uze ufumane & apos;. Mna ndinqamlezile . Wazama ukuzithethelela esithi unxilile. Emva koko wandixelela ibinzana: & apos; Andimthandi kakhulu okwangoku. Ngoku uyazi ukuba kutheni & apos; '.

Idibeneyo: Ukuqala kwam ukungena endodeni kwaguqula indlela endibona ngayo isondo

Le ndoda yayicinga ukuba izokwabelana ngesondo. Kwaye xa wathi hayi kuye, endaweni yokucela uxolo ngokuziphatha kwakhe, wayedlala ixhoba. Kumadoda amaninzi, kubonakala ngathi ukuthumela ifoto yabo ye-dick kubonakala ngathi akukho mngcipheko kunokuba, umzekelo, ukuzama ukucela isondo okanye ukuthandana ngeendlela ezisengozini, njengamagama okanye amabali e-Instagram.

'Ukuthumela iifoto zepenisi kunokubonwa njengenzame yokufumana uhlobo' lomngcipheko ophantsi 'wolwalamano kunye nokunxibelelana, Ndimxelele Ingcali yezengqondo uSarah Davies ukuya e-Esquire. Oluphi ulangazelelo olunzulu lomntu. Kodwa, ngale ndlela, banokuzikhusela ngasemva kwimo yomntu oyindoda, ngaphandle kwemingcipheko yokuba sesichengeni ngokweemvakalelo. Into yokoyika ukwaliwa yinto yokwemvelo, kodwa ukuba ukwaliwa kukusabela kwisiqwenga senyama, oko kunganyamezeleka kunokwala eyona ndawo ibalulekileyo yesazisi sakho. '

Kwiposti yebhlog icatshulwe ngumlondolozi , Unjingalwazi wezengqondo kwiHarvard ucebisa ukuba eyona nkcazo inokwenzeka 'yeepick dick' yeyokuba amadoda atolika gwenxa umdla wabasetyhini ekufumaneni iifoto zamalungu abo ', nangona umboniso nawo unokuba yinto ebalulekileyo. Iyavakala le nto.

Kuphando lwam ngeli nqaku, ndeva ibali elikhuthazayo lomfazi obuye wafumana amandla emva kokubona iifoto zobudoda angazange azibuze. Wakwazi ukuguqula iifoto ze-dick ezingacelwanga zenze ishishini, ethengisa amadoda awayebathumela ubhaliso 'lwenkohliso' kwiakhawunti yakhe yabucala ye-Snapchat kunye nokwenza imali entle ngayo. 'Kungenxa yemiyalezo ethe ngqo eneefoto zempempe kuTwitter apho ndifumana khona abantu endithengisa kubo ubulungu,' undixelele.

Oko kubonakala kuyinto entle kum. Kuqheleke kangakanani ukuba wonke umntu aphumelele?